i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
