it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
