you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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