quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did i walk over a car last night?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
