We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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