I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
