Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
