You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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