just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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