This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
