if you like me you must not know who I am
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
