Your face is a jimmy john
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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