Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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