I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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