this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
