Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
