I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
BRING THE BAGELS
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
