ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
