Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize