I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
