There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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