JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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