Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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