he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
