1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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