I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
