What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
