If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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