Well douche your snatch and let's go!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She bit a glass in half.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
