your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
