Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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