She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
