I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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