Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We smell like vodka and hangover
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