I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
