she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
