I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
