remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
