i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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