It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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