I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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