All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i dont even know how to be here
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
