last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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