We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
3pm strippers are depressing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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