Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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