gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize