clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
