I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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