What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
