you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Congratulations! We have a period
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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