Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
