so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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