Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
