remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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