Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
