We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
