Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
