Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
