Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
