please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
