I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize