Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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