i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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